THE WALKING MAN: THE 400th

I would like to run poetic with this statement but I think it best said in prose form. Today is the 400^th post since the last time I deleted everything on my blog. If you keep pushing the ?older posts? button you?ll get back to June 6^th 2010 where I told the story of the 551^st airborne division on D-Day.

Lately I have been thinking about deleting everything again and starting over or stopping and shutting it all down, something I have done a few times since 2006 when The Walking Man first hit Blogopia. Dr. Michelle brooks can be blamed or credited for the appearance of this blog. She made me do it, put my work in the public domain, and because I am a sucker for a beautiful heart, I did what she told me.

I have been trying to understand why so many people read this blog and I don?t. I do though want to thank you who read and you who comment. I know that what I write is not always palatable and ranges from the brutal reality of my life?s surroundings, the depression that sometimes overwhelms me, the divine which I feel so near to, giving voice to the voiceless and of late the political whoredom of my nation.

After so many years of writing poetry I sometimes tell myself I have said enough. I could stop right now and not have anything to be ashamed of. I have always been honest in my writing and truthful when I knew what the truth was. My mind tells me I could stop but my heart tells me I will die behind this keyboard still speaking out. Speaking out in the way I know how to speak about, the things my mother taught me are important, social justices being chief among them.

I am not a trained person of letters or literature. I have no initials behind my name other than A.S.S. I don?t know if that is because of intellectual laziness on my part, fear of imitating the voice of someone else, or maybe I was just too busy living the life I have and walking the road as it has been laid out in front of me. At my age I don?t think it matters anymore that I have never been to a writing conference or been asked to speak to a college class about writing poetry or have a page about me on Wikipedia. I don?t think it matters anymore that I do not submit my writing to magazines and journals for publication; I have had the thrill of discussing with editors about intellectual property and creative control and the thrill of 987 rejection slips and more than a couple acceptance for publication letters.

To me being published isn?t like making love with my wife, a thrilling experience every time. After a couple of times it was more a pain in the ass to deal with poetry as business than I felt it was worth. I finally learned it?s easier to trim my nails than to chew them off hoping someone somewhere thinks I am good enough to appear in their pages.

And this is where I am forever in your debt; you all are the ones who finally convinced me that I am in fact a poet, which is all I ever wanted to be. You paid your hard earned money for my books and helped me be able to say The Walking Man has traveled to every continent on Earth (except Antarctica). You helped me with your encouragement to get behind a microphone and read aloud what you read most every day.

But there is more I have found here, the most important thing of all?you. You all are my poetry, your kindnesses, your friendships through this new thing called the internet, you whom I?ve met face to face and you that have allowed me in to touch your heart and forced me with your own love to open my own so you could touch mine are so dear to me.

I do not have prose enough to tell you how wonderful you and your families have become to me. During the day I think of you, even though I don?t know what most of you look like, I think of what you write on your blogs and the heart behind it and it helps me get through some of the tough days just knowing you are there, real people who use real words to express real opinions, joys and tragedies with me. ?

I don?t want to be trite but I do love you. I love you more than I love myself and if I could I would take all of your pain, sorrow and fears into my own being and eat them for you because you deserve to live free from all of that shit (didn?t think I wasn?t going to find a place for an explicative did you?) because you are kind folks, not users, losers, or politicians.

So just for today on this 400^th post I will cut to the chase?thank you for your many and often kindnesses, I have grown because of them.

Wherever you are, what ever you are thinking and going through my fervent prayer and desire for you is to live free and in peace of heart and mind.

Be Well Always

mark

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