Focus on the Family Community: Relationships and Marriage ...

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Sep 6, 2012 4:55 AM

Hello, I feel like I am between a rock and a hard place and am looking for some advice. I'm 23 and have been married for three years come october. Things haven't always been easy but we have seemed to make it work. Lately however, things haven't been so great.? It is tough finding the motivation to do even the smallest tasks because I feel my husband no longer cares for me. I think he may be involved in an affair (hopefully just emotionally.) He shows many of the common signs such as sneaky, secretive with his computer and phone, and very distant. He has had problems with porn before, a major addiction in fact, and I feel it may have been chatting as well. He also had a problem with smoking which led to a lot of him lying and breaking promises. I still have a hard time trusting him but try to give him the benefit of the doubt. He works around some pretty tough guys and is starting to become more like them( different humor, more cursing, etc.). I have no close family or friends to talk to and no where to turn to. (i am currently unemployed and we have no savings money). He is so distant and more verbally aggressive lately that I feel like I can't even talk to him. He is great at manipulating a conversation to his way which makes it hard to accomplish serious talks. He also throws around the I'm sorrys frequently, just to end a conversation.? I do hope someone can help me in figuring out what to do. I feel right now that the only reason I'm in this marriage still is because i have no where else to go, no where to turn to, and don't want God (or others) to frown upon me for divorce.? I was young when I married and he was my first boyfriend, but I feel like we were really in love and really had a good relationship. I thought we shared the same values and looks but now his are changing so much I'm not so sure. I feel now what I wouldn't want him to father my kids(we have none currently) because he is just so selfish! I literally have to beg him to pay attention to me, and nine out of ten times he just wants to watch tv 'together' (him in another chair, not talking).? I'm starting to think it's over and don't know what to do. I have so much stress and anxiety I can't sleep and now I feel like I'm taking the whole world on single handedly. I want that good Christian marriage I've always heard about but am starting to think it is impossible. I don't know how to confront him about infidelity and he won't listen when I ask for help or support otherwise. I know I'm not perfect either, I had a lot of hormone mood swings and anger lately. I haven't been the best at showing love either, its been hard to keep up a happy front.? I hope someone can help. Any opinion would be appreciated! Like I said, I have no one else to talk to. I want to know if there is still a chance this could work. What should I do next and how do I get happy and feel fulfilled in life? I want to make God happy and I want to be happy again too. Please help!

Source: http://www.focusonlinecommunities.com/thread/25040

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